Thursday, December 31, 2015

Day 31: My Specific Situation, IVF Results and Happy New Years [Eve]

During these past 31 days I’ve been talking about different topics from the 31 days of Prayers during Infertility I had spoken about on one of my posts (here).
Today it’s December 31st and I want to encourage you to pray for what ever your heart may desire.  Ask God with all your heart because He answers and He loves to bless His children. 

Father, I pray that what ever my ttc sisters pray for you grant them.  We all know it’s in your timing so I pray that you grant us all the patience we need to understand and accept your timing.  In Jesus Name ~Amen

Unfortunately we have failed our first IVF cycle.  Have I cried?  I didn't do much crying when I received the news.  But after a while I’ve had a couple of breakdowns.  Although I there was something inside of me that knew it had not work I still kept my hopes up but at the same time I already had set myself up for disappointment.
Hubs and I were talking about this cycle and how unfortunately we knew it went wrong from the beginning.   So since after retrieval we knew we had to be prepared for a negative outcome. 

We will be contacting our RE on Monday to discuss the cycle and next steps, in the meantime I have already stopped all medications and now waiting for aunt flow to arrive.   

I don't plan to do much crying it’s New Year’s Eve and I want to dedicate all my time to my loving husband.  I also want to keep myself busy getting back to my normal weight and focused on how my ttc sisters call it IVFtake2.

No one ever said this was going to be easy, just wish it wasn't so hard!

To all my lovely readers I wish you an amazing New Years Eve.  May you cherish the good memories 2015 has given you and may you learn from those bad experience to be stronger.   And when the clock strikes 12 don’t forget to kiss your loved ones and tell them how much you love them.  And most important don’t forget to thank God for all He has given you and all the blessings you’ll be receiving in this upcoming year 2016.

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Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Day 29: Trust and Day 30: Wise Decision

Since growing up I don’t remember not once that I could say I would trust someone with all my might.  It wasn’t until I began to break some walls in my heart that I learned that there are some people and/or circumstances where I can actually trust.  It is the same way when you’re on the journey of seeking for a family during infertility.  You have to learn to pray and you have to learn that the Lord will guide you to the right persons.  I learned to trust my doctors here in the clinic that we chose because we know that God put them in our path.  And frankly I would not change them unless I feel God wants other directions in our lives.  This is the type of relationship you should have with God.  Trusting He will guide you to the right clinic.  Trusting Him, that his promises will be fulfilled in your life. 

Lord, please help us and teach us to trust you and your timing.  Don’t let our impatience lead us to other things.  Guard our hearts for we give it to you.  In Jesus Name ~Amen

During our IUI’s I didn’t hesitate in going to the first place that provided it in North Carolina.  So when we found out we only had to pay $200 for each IUI we were thrilled.  We didn’t ask for references, we just jumped in and did it.  Now that I’ve gained a bit more knowledge on this journey I regret every bit going to the clinic I went too.  And I’m beyond glad it was not that much money we spent on each IUI. 

“Desire without knowledge is not good – how much more will hasty feet miss the way!” ~Proverbs 19:2

When you want to do something or need to take decisions; pray on it.  I know some of us have different religious views so if you need to pray, pray if you need to meditate then meditate but don’t jump and do something without knowing if it’s a wise decision. 

Father I pray that you give us all a heart of wisdom. Let us make wise choices and when we believe our path is the correct one I pray that it is by You that we make our decisions.  In Jesus Name ~Amen
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Monday, December 28, 2015

Day 28: True Belief and a Little IVF Update

I believe that everything that occurs in our lives is an experience we get to use to help others with similar situations.  I cannot believe the amount of ladies that I’ve known going through this journey that I have helped by telling them about the clinic and most important with a word of comfort.   

For example on 8dp5dt I did a POAS test and it came out negative.  We cried together and of course I broke down worst.  An hour later I wrote to my cousin who went through in vitro as well.  I admire her though because she never let her head down.  And those words were the one she told me.  Keep on fighting for your dream with your head up high.  And never stop praying for what you want because God always listens. 

I spoke to my clinic in regards to stopping the progesterone and estrogen but they clearly told me not too until January 1st which is the exact date they wanted me to test.  So I’m continuing as told and praying for a miracle. 

Lord today I pray so that we can reverse our sorrows into happiness and into experience we can share and teach others with.  At times it may be difficult for us to talk about something that will probably be of help for someone else.  In Jesus Name ~Amen

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Sunday, December 27, 2015

Day 26: Peace and Day 27: Sufficient Finance

Sorry for missing out on these past days, but here I am again.

I have been praying for peace during this journey.  Asking God to give me the serenity I need for whatever the results to this journey may be; knowing that He has the answers to it all.  Peace is not something you’ll have from one day to another.  Especially if you’re as stubborn as me.  I struggle a lot trying to be at peace during this journey specially when things go wrong your start losing everything.  Then God comes in as a reminder that nothing can be done without Him.

Lord today I pray begging you for the peace our hearts desire and need to go through whatever journey you have set for us.  I ask you to once again forgive us if we lack of confidence but instead ask to trust you and know that it is your timing and not ours but to wait in peace and joy. ~Amen 

Talking about money is not something easy.  I thank God for those ladies that are fortunate to have a good health insurance that pays in full all there treatment.  Unfortunately we do not have that luck, we have to pay for every bit of our treatment for meds to the complete in vitro.  The only thing that helps us out is the lab tests because we can go to our clinic on post.  Everything else is paid out of pocket.  What I have noticed is that God always provides.  I thank God that we have never had to take out loans to pay for our treatments.  And I thank God because I’ve noticed that every time we give we get back.  Hubs and I tend to be big givers, and don’t get me wrong we don’t have money to be spending around but we always have if its not on gifts its on food or on small things.  Either way like I said we always get back.  It’s like Karma what comes around goes around and so that’s how I see our way of living. 

Lord today I ask you to teach us how to be givers.  To give without thinking of receiving, to give in act of love and not be selfish.  I pray for those that do not have a good health insurance that you can provide them with sufficient finance so that they can do a treatment and grant them the opportunity to be parents. In Jesus Name ~Amen

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus.” ~Philippians 4:19

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