Friday, August 9, 2013

Trying to Conceive

If you are reading this, I guess it is because you too are trying to have a baby and are experiencing challenges. My story is written here in my blog because I'm pretty sure there are other females out there experiencing the same pain.  And believe me it's not good to deal with it on your own.

Just to bring you up to date, I am 33 years old, hard to admit that - as I still feel like 20 but being in my 30's well it sounds so old in terms of child bearing years. As a teenager I envisaged being a stay at home mom with at least three kids. My daydreams included the whole deal - the station wagon, the handsome husband, the maid, and teaching and supporting my kids through all their various interests, hobbies, friends and stages of life, just like my mom did with my sisters and I. I saw myself as supermom! All that changed when I started working, saw myself as an independent woman and decided that I would be better off traveling, buying all my fashion designer stuff and just be free from marriage and everything that had to do with compromising my life (childish of me at that time) but there was no room for kids in my scenario.

Well, years later, I no longer wanted to be childish and immature. I had crossed 32 with no baby pangs, but it was brewing quietly. Unfortunately when my husband and I decided that we were prepared to have babies, that's when all the pain begins. 
I was sure it would happen within a few months but being a control freak, I scoured the internet to learn about learning fertility signs and possible issues. More than anything else I wanted to learn how to optimize our chances of conceiving quickly. 

Well the months passed with no success. I tried every tip my friends would give me because each one worked for so many others I talked too. But none of those tips resulted in a pregnancy for me.

Finally, I learned that it's not just about wanting a baby.  I realized I have the most understanding, loving, caring, extremely supportive husband I never knew I would love so much. A marriage that keeps getting better and better with each passing day. I never knew love could be this good, this supportive, this honest, and this passionate. I love him so much and for the first I don't just want A baby - I want OUR baby. I want our family. I ache to see him with our baby. I ache to see this tiny beautiful little product of our love - looking and being a little bit like him and a little bit like me. It makes me smile just to think of it.

For the last year we have been aggressively trying to have a baby. We will begin several 'natural' methods, doctor and even natural herbs. And if this does not work our next step is the invasive methods of all the clinical doctors. But I am determined that before 2013 ends, will bring us a baby. So please, join us on our journey to motherhood.