A New Me!!!

Well hello!  Remember me?  It has been a little over a year since I’ve posted.  I had decided to take a pause on writing and focus more on the baby making.  Unfortunately, that did not go according to our plans.  After 2 failed IVF, 1 failed FET and 1 failed DE which is equivalent of 6 lost embryos, we have decided to take a pause and let God and life work according to what is best for me.  This journey has been full of heartbreaks and too many tears.  Three years that we spent in Italy in which we did not focus in anything other than TTC.  Therefore, it is time to let go, move on, and make the best out of everything. 

Now I want to focus in MY life!  I was so busy in trying to make this baby making work, making everyone happy except myself.  And now that I realized how lost from my own self I was, how I became this person I could not even recognize I felt the need to begin all over again.  Now I’m going to focus in falling in love with myself all over again.  I don’t want to be this angry and bitter person; I want to have a relationship with myself I NEED to have a relationship with myself. 

I cannot predict my future; I cannot predict my trials and successes. But I sure can finally begin to live the shit out of my day.  The beauty out of all this… I have made amazing friends that has been there for more, wiped my tears and just listen to all the bullshit that comes out of my mouth without judging.  My mother always told me to live my life with joy no matter what and that’s definitely what I’m going to start doing.  Because I DESERVE IT I deserve to be happy.     

Here are some pics on what has been going on in my life for that past year.  

Barcelona

 Belgium

 Greece

Lago di Sorapis (Italy)

 France

Portugal

 Santorini

Wine Time

The Famous Birth Control Pill

Let me begin by simply letting out the fact THAT I HATE BIRTH CONTROL PILLS.  Because I have PCOS my infertility clinic put me on birth control pills for about 3 months.  May I say it has been 3 months of torture.  Now don’t get me wrong I have taken BCP in the past and I do not know if it is because its an Italian brand (which I believe BCP are all the same) but never have I felt this way with them. 

Here are some of the symptoms that I have:

Anxiety attacks = Now I don’t know if it is because my IVF is right around the corner but my hearts starts pounding faster and my chest starts hurting randomly. 

Anger = Yes, I am fighting and get annoyed over any little thing even if my poor fur baby stares at me while I’m cooking and then I get the guilt trip and begin to cry cause I yell at her to leave the kitchen.  I’m literally having WTF moments here.

Loss of Libido (Sex Drive) = I have nothing to say except that it is very very extremely FRUSTRATING.

Remorse = For being such a nagging wife and having an amazing husband that literally ignores me and has the best patience in the whole world.  God loves me!

 Luckily I have 8 remaining pills and it is overrrrr!!! I’m literally dancing over here!  

I know things are not going to get easier I already experienced my sporadic mood swings when we did our IUI’s but I am so ready for this new journey and I have so much faith I just can’t wait for December to be here. I can’t wait for the blessing God has for us.

“Those who sow in tears will reap songs of joy.  He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.” ~Psalm 126:5-6

Countdown: 31 Days

I have never experienced so many mixed emotions at the same time.  I have literally 31 days until we fly to Czech Republic for our first and hopefully only IVF treatment.  This is the first time I have so much faith in not just this clinic or the doctors but in my Lord.  I’ve always said that without God nothing is impossible but my faith was not even close when it comes in trusting the Almighty.  Lately when I’m at home I put YouTube on my computer and start listening to Christian songs or I simply watch Christian movies.  This has brought me so much peace and so much tears hahaha.  Yes, I’ve been nothing but tears lately.  I honestly cannot describe what I’m feeling but I will continue to post as the time continues to approach on this journey.  
In the meantime all prayers I highly appreciated while we wait for God's masterpiece.

"Faith by itself if it is not accompanied by action is dead."

~ James 2:17

  

Mediterranean Diet, Fertility Foods and TTC Giveaway

Last year I began my “medicated” ttc journey in the States.  We began with IUI’s that as you may know led to BFN.  And although I was in pain I was also content because I had answers to why it wasn’t happening naturally.   One of the biggest mistake was not reading and getting information on what to do in order to have a successful IUI or IVF.  And it wasn’t until a couple of months ago that I bought the book “ItStarts With The Egg” by Rebecca Fett that I realized all the things I had to change in order to have a successful IVF.  Especially now that our first and God willing only IVF will be in a couple of months.

First thing I did was buy all the necessary vitamins I needed to begin my supplement regimen these including Prenatal, Folic Acid, CoQ10, Metformin and Vitamin D. I also began exercising, which consists of cardio for now.  I was also looking into Yoga but haven’t started anything yet.  And besides changing all of my plastic bowls to glass containers I also changed my eating habits.  I began the Mediterranean Diet.  My diet consists of lots of these foods:

 

And I also got this Top 10 Fertile Foods from Nat Kringoudis’ website which I’m also including in my everyday foods.

Not lets get to the real deal… My first giveaway.  Since I have read and noted all the important do’s and don’ts from the book It Starts With The Egg by Rebecca Fett I have decided to gift the book with other TTC surprises.  The giveway consists of following my Blog or commenting on any post.  The giveaway starts today Thursday, September 24, 2015 and will end on Wednesday, September 30, 2015.  I will be announcing the winner on October 1^st since the time difference from the States and Europe is different.  So good luck and I hope ya’ll enjoying my blog.

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