I’m Not Crazy I’m Mourning

We lost our beloved Knela last Friday after seven amazing years with her.  Knela was given to us when she was 7 human years.  Although she was already an “adult” we saw her as a baby; I mean you can’t even imagine how spoiled she was.  We have her all the love, happiness and caring she needed and more.  She brought us happiness while dealing with infertility.  I cannot even begin to express how she won my heart.  

The loss of Knela has broken my heart into pieces, people say “time will heal”, “it’s just a dog” and so many other things that makes me wonder if I’m going crazy or if they simply don’t have a heart. To love a dog is to truly know the meaning of unconditional love.  If you are lucky enough like me to share your life with a dog, especially a soul mate dog that has passed, then you know the meaning of grief.  

Burn With Love: Ash & Syd Soy Candles

My sister once told me that our olfactory system, which is just a fancy word for “sense of smell,” is the part of your sensory system most closely tied to vivid memories.  And in my opinion she is completely right.  Every scent I have chosen whether if it’s a candle, a perfume or even a flower; each has a memory or emotion for me. 

One of the too many things I have in common with my sister is the love for candles.  My sister Dixie had a passion for candles that she transformed her passion and founded what today is Ash & Syd Candles; but they are not just candles they are made with soy.  And if you didn’t know Soy candles are non-toxic, so they won't release toxins into the air as they burn.  And they last longer and have better scent.  I took some time asking her about her journey and I’d love to share a little more her story.

Dixie: “Quite movie like (but without the cameras and supporting cast) it happened. I stood in the middle of my living room, robe tied, curtains drawn and out loud I asked, "If you like them so much, why don't you make them?" - so that's exactly what I did.

Ash & Syd candles were created by my own wild ambition, but they are inspired by the two most beautiful things I have ever made: my daughters. Ashley, my calm and collected ocean, who ripples and waves, but always leaves me feeling safe at shore. And Sydney, my delicate rose, whose spirit and scent was truly crafted for the heavens. I pour my heart and soul (and of course soy) into my candles so that you may burn a little bit of the love that I feel each day knowing that I am making someone's day...someone's world, just a little bit brighter.”

With the foundation of Ash & Syd Candles comes a series of scents:

Brooklyn - A rich scent of balsamic greens and grapefruits. 

New York - Vibrating scents of sea salt and orchids. 

Citronella - Keep the bugs away.

Ashley - For our beach bums.

Sydney - For our rose scent lovers.

Love - For our lustful secret admirers.

Citrus - For those who love fresh, vibrant yet subtle scents.

Summer Love - A mixture of pineapple and coconuts

Relax - Just imagine a day in a spa

Gardenia - Like the flower that symbolizes love, harmony and grace

Buddha - For our peace seekers.

Him - For our strong men, or women.

Pumpkin Spice - Seasonal candle

Christmas Scent - Seasonal candle

You can purchase these amazing candles at http://ashsydsoycandles.bigcartel.com and you can also follow the Ash and Syd Candles journey on Instagram @ashluvsyd and Facebook @ashsydsoycandles.

Corks & Chocolate

I recently went wine tasting with hubs and a friend at this picturesque town in the Veneto Region of Italy called Soave; and after we attended a chocolate fest downtown Vicenza, Italy (town in which we live).  Soave wine and the chocolate fest was definitely a dream.   Here's a look of what I like to call Corks and Chocolate!!!

A New Me!!!

Well hello!  Remember me?  It has been a little over a year since I’ve posted.  I had decided to take a pause on writing and focus more on the baby making.  Unfortunately, that did not go according to our plans.  After 2 failed IVF, 1 failed FET and 1 failed DE which is equivalent of 6 lost embryos, we have decided to take a pause and let God and life work according to what is best for me.  This journey has been full of heartbreaks and too many tears.  Three years that we spent in Italy in which we did not focus in anything other than TTC.  Therefore, it is time to let go, move on, and make the best out of everything. 

Now I want to focus in MY life!  I was so busy in trying to make this baby making work, making everyone happy except myself.  And now that I realized how lost from my own self I was, how I became this person I could not even recognize I felt the need to begin all over again.  Now I’m going to focus in falling in love with myself all over again.  I don’t want to be this angry and bitter person; I want to have a relationship with myself I NEED to have a relationship with myself. 

I cannot predict my future; I cannot predict my trials and successes. But I sure can finally begin to live the shit out of my day.  The beauty out of all this… I have made amazing friends that has been there for more, wiped my tears and just listen to all the bullshit that comes out of my mouth without judging.  My mother always told me to live my life with joy no matter what and that’s definitely what I’m going to start doing.  Because I DESERVE IT I deserve to be happy.     

Here are some pics on what has been going on in my life for that past year.  

Barcelona

 Belgium

 Greece

Lago di Sorapis (Italy)

 France

Portugal

 Santorini

Wine Time