I remember back in 2007 when I got divorced, I cried and I got rebellious and when I say rebellious I mean it in every way of the meaning of Rebellious. It was in 2011 that I started reflecting on my life; deep down inside I wanted to have the perfect marriage, a family, someone I can be proud of and that person would be proud of me as well. Someone that I can cook for, clean for and make them happy (yes, I wanted to be a wife).
(Me in Puerto Rico 2011)
One night I began to pray, and I decided to write on my journal a list of the qualities I wanted in a man. And I made myself sure that I had those same qualities as well. I knew for a fact that he would not have all the qualities on my list, but if he had more than 50% I would be more than happy and willing to marry that man of course that was with the approval of God, and my parents. Now some may say “parents” -- “but you are divorced and in your 30’s why would parents have to approve?” In my case, I DO take decisions based on my believes but even though I’m in my 30’s I always seek my parents approval in some of my decisions.
Here’s my 2011 list:
He must love JESUS
He must be clean
He must be faithful
He must be sensitive
He must be affectionate
He must be a hard worker
He must be a family person
He must be secure of himself
He must have a positive attitude
He must not have a temper or aggressive
He must make me his priority (after Jesus of course)
He must be attractive (white, tall,
black hair, well dressed, always smelling good)
He must remember birthdays, anniversaries, etc. (a lil gift wouldn't be bad either)
He must not be a sexist (a person that believes that a woman was born to serve them)
He must be a gentlemen (yes I’m old school, I like the open doors, holding hands kinda stuff)
I knew I wasn't going to get all of these qualities, you see I always use to say that physically he had to have black hair and I ended up with a red head (bald), with tons of freckles which I love.
Although God granted me basically all the specifications I was looking in a man, I have to say marriage is not as easy as it looks. If you let yourself go by what you see on the media (facebook/twitter) you will drive yourself nuts when you get married. See, people put on a facade of how their marriage is peaches and cream. Well sorry to break it to ya but IT IS NOT. You will have differences (remember you are both two different individuals), you will fight or have a discussion if you want to put it pretty (as long as there is no violence involved) I’d say you can past the test.
1. Dating/Courting is not the same as marriage. When you’re courting you may see some of the flaws of that person; but when you’re married, when you live with that person 24/7 you get to see basically all of them. It’s just a matter of focusing on the good things, having great communication and keep in mind YOU HAVE FLAWS TOO.
2. Marriage is sacred. Don’t let a third party give their opinion, and NEVER open doors to temptation. My mom would always say “The Devil Is A Pig” and indeed she is right. You will have situations where either you want to get out, you’ll be tempted by others to do things. When these things happen PRAY, PRAY & PRAY.
3. Marriage is like a roller-coaster you will definitely have your ups and downs – just make the best out of it and enjoy the ride.
I have a thing with duck faces lol